Here are the Winners:
I went to Canada to search for Big Foot, and found some huge tracks that led into a cave. I texted my friends, ‘I’m in Canada, and I’ve found Saskatchewan!
I’m big into fitness and martial arts, I know Jujitsu, Kung-Fu and am expert in Tiramisu.
Penetration is the sincerest form of flattery.
Robert Williams, Tom McHugh, Michael Bass
Vote by emailing us (at email@example.com) the numbers of your 1st, 2nd and 3rd favorite lines…in that order. We will tally the scores. The writer of the top line will receive $100, 2nd place gets $50, and 3rd gets $25!
Here are the Finalists:
- I’m big into fitness and martial arts, I know Jujitsu, Kung-Fu and am expert in Tiramisu. Andy Laidler
- My doctor told me to lay off the carburetors. Ron Beau
- I don’t invest in anything without doing my Due Dalliance on it, first. Tom McHugh – Honorable Mention
- “Oh beautiful voracious skies.” Gary Hicks
- “Our crooked senator proves that oil and honor don’t mix.” Michael Bass
- “I went to Canada to search for Big Foot, and found some huge tracks that led into a cave. I texted my friends, ‘I’m in Canada, and I’ve found Saskatchewan!” Michael Bass
- Penetration is the sincerest form of flattery. Michael Bass
- Those who do not learn from History are doomed to retweet it. Robert Williams Honorable Mention
- “He partied too much to be first in his class, but he did get to be the saloonatorian.” Michael Bass
- “The scariest spider I ever saw was big, hairy tarantella.” Jeff Brawer
- “I’m going to date her a few more times. Familiarity breeds consent.” Michael Bass
- “We panhandlers stay away from Indiana. Beggars can’t be Hoosiers.” Michael Bass Honorable Mention
- People at the pool were doing swan dives and Jackknife dives and cannibals. Gary Hicks
- There are many ways to make coffee: drip, French press, cold brew. For me, I prefer a perspirater. Gary Hicks
- I’m so hungry I could eat a hearse! Gary Hicks
- Am I in love, or is it just Inflatulation? Tom McHugh
- My lawyer advised me to plead the Fifth Commandment. Tom McHugh
- The young queen rode to Westminster Abbey for her chlorination. Gary Hicks
- “I don’t want to catch that virus from China or Europe or wherever, and have to be foreigntined.” Michael Bass
- “I have to sit through the trial of as jewel thief because my doctor wouldn’t get me out of jewelry duty.” Michael Bass
- “Reverend Smith’s prayer droned on and on. He’s proof that a preacher is worth a thousand words.” Michael Bass
- Fortune favors the bald. Keri Kelly
- “My wife broke her leg and had to be taken to the hospital in a speeding ambience.” Jeff Brawer
- Many soldiers were killed by custard gas. Gary Hicks
- After the Cubs traded away most of their championship team, you couldn’t tell the players without a snore card. Gary Hicks
If you have a suggestion or idea for a future contest, we’d love to hear it!