Round Table Contest #10

Malaprops!

Here are the Winners:

1st Place

I went to Canada to search for Big Foot, and found some huge tracks that led into a cave. I texted my friends, ‘I’m in Canada, and I’ve found Saskatchewan!

Michael Bass

2nd Place

I’m big into fitness and martial arts, I know Jujitsu, Kung-Fu and am expert in Tiramisu.

Andy Laidler

3rd Place

Penetration is the sincerest form of flattery.

Michael Bass

Honorable Mentions

Robert Williams, Tom McHugh, Michael Bass

THE FINALISTS

Vote by emailing us (at info@comedywritersroom.com) the numbers of your 1st, 2nd and 3rd favorite lines…in that order. We will tally the scores. The writer of the top line will receive $100, 2nd place gets $50, and 3rd gets $25!

Here are the Finalists:

  1. I’m big into fitness and martial arts, I know Jujitsu, Kung-Fu and am expert in Tiramisu. Andy Laidler 

 

  1. My doctor told me to lay off the carburetors. Ron Beau

 

  1. I don’t invest in anything without doing my Due Dalliance on it, first. Tom McHugh – Honorable Mention

 

  1. “Oh beautiful voracious skies.” Gary Hicks

 

  1. “Our crooked senator proves that oil and honor don’t mix.” Michael Bass

 

  1. “I went to Canada to search for Big Foot, and found some huge tracks that led into a cave. I texted my friends, ‘I’m in Canada, and I’ve found Saskatchewan!” Michael Bass

 

  1. Penetration is the sincerest form of flattery. Michael Bass

 

  1. Those who do not learn from History are doomed to retweet it. Robert Williams Honorable Mention

 

  1. “He partied too much to be first in his class, but he did get to be the saloonatorian.” Michael Bass

 

  1. “The scariest spider I ever saw was big, hairy tarantella.” Jeff Brawer

 

  1. “I’m going to date her a few more times.  Familiarity breeds consent.” Michael Bass

 

  1. “We panhandlers stay away from Indiana. Beggars can’t be Hoosiers.” Michael Bass Honorable Mention

 

  1. People at the pool were doing swan dives and Jackknife dives and cannibals. Gary Hicks

 

  1. There are many ways to make coffee: drip, French press, cold brew. For me, I prefer a perspirater. Gary Hicks

 

  1. I’m so hungry I could eat a hearse! Gary Hicks

 

  1. Am I in love, or is it just Inflatulation? Tom McHugh

 

  1. My lawyer advised me to plead the Fifth Commandment. Tom McHugh

 

  1. The young queen rode to Westminster Abbey for her chlorination. Gary Hicks

 

  1. “I don’t want to catch that virus from China or Europe or wherever, and have to be foreigntined.” Michael Bass

 

  1. “I have to sit through the trial of as jewel thief because my doctor wouldn’t get me out of jewelry duty.” Michael Bass

 

  1. “Reverend Smith’s prayer droned on and on. He’s proof that a preacher is worth a thousand words.” Michael Bass

 

  1. Fortune favors the bald. Keri Kelly

 

  1. “My wife broke her leg and had to be taken to the hospital in a speeding ambience.” Jeff Brawer

 

  1. Many soldiers were killed by custard gas. Gary Hicks

 

  1. After the Cubs traded away most of their championship team, you couldn’t tell the players without a snore card. Gary Hicks

If you have a suggestion or idea for a future contest, we’d love to hear it!